For my short story group, we read victory lap. This was one of the coolest pieces of writing i have read in a while. There is no dialogue in quotations, or in the story anywhere. I think there might be some implied dialogue but in this story, telling reality from the imaginations of the three people from the story is difficult. One aspect of this story that makes it difficult to completely follow is that the entire story exists in the minds of three different people. Not only are the perspectives of the three in the form of a "stream of consciousness," they each have their own distinct styles and word choices. George Saunders really put in time in thinking about the different people.
In Alison's head, Saunders uses "Pas de chat," "changement," "pas de bourree." These are all words that a dancer would use as they are thinking about an upcoming dance performance or dance class and trying to remember their dance. She is a dancer and so Saunders recognized that putting in these words enhances the uniqueness of Alison.
The next character that we are inside the mind of is Kyle. Saunders again uses word choice to let us know more and more about this character. Kyle thinks faster and and he asks himself lots of rhetorical questions. "What is?" Why? Who?" Kyle also hears his parents reprimanding voices in his head. His parents are overbearing and so now when he knows he is doing something wrong, he hears his mom or dads voice in his head. This is shown in the excerpt below.
EXCERPT:
"Swearing in your head? Dad said in his head. Step up, Scout, be a man. If you want to swear, swear
aloud.
I don't want to swear aloud.
Then don't swear in your head"
The third person we are in the mind of is the abductor of Alison and the victim of Kyle. He uses obscenity obsessively and he has a much angrier tone. He even considers suicide to avoid jail. He has a morbid and scary stream of consciousness. Saunders developed his characters thoroughly and I hope to bring the depth of character that George Saunders uses through these three perspectives to my own short story in enhancing Betty and Earl.
I also read Nine Lives by Ursula K. Le Gumn. This story was the first of its kind that talked about cloning. The many many themes inside this story are crazy and mesh together so well. She really went outside the box and in my story I think I stay way to far inside my comfort zone. I want to try to create depth and write about things I do not fully understand.
Ah, so you've found out how fun it can be to write your own thoughts on metaphysical things, huh? Good to learn!
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I do think the three different tones and word choices for the streams of consciousness in Victory Lap made the story. Without the three distinctly different characters, it'd be kinda bland and dull.
It sounds to me like "Victory Lap" is a combination of three different character sketches. I think my favorite part of writing is describing characters and giving life to them, and George Saunders really is good at doing this. I am curious though as to the plot behind the story. You mentioned abduction and this story now seems interesting to read. You also said that the story got confusing due to the steam of consciousness way of writing. I have always found that type of writing difficult to follow, sometimes to the point of undermining the actual story. Was this an issue at all? I think that stream of conscious can be a fun way to write, but it has to be monitored in order to stay reasonably coherent. It seems like trying to follow the thoughts of three different people would make this story almost unreadable, but perhaps Saunders just does a really good job. I also find that stream of consciousness can be useful in revealing a lot about a character, as they are thinking through their thoughts. It seems like this is true from what you wrote. Do you plan on using these aspects of character developments on your two characters that you mentioned? If so, would you be using stream of conscious writing? If so, the one thing you could try to do better than Saunders is make it less confusing, so that a reader could more easily follow your characters' thoughts. As for "Nine Lives", is it a fiction book concerning cloning, and is it true? I think is might be even more interesting if it was true, but it could be dull as well. It would be cool to do as this writer did and try a new style or form, or some other new aspect of writing to change up your stories.
ReplyDeleteI think you're absolutely right about the way Saunders differentiates his characters in his stream of consciousness style. It's pretty awesome isn't it? He's able to make them so different just through a couple of French words or changing up the pacing/structure. It's totally subtle, but really well done and I'm glad you appreciate that too. By the way, I thought one of the coolest characterizations was for the kidnapper, when he talks about kings being exalted it totally points towards delusions of grandeur and really helped to show me his character. It really is an awesome story.
ReplyDeleteIf you like the way Ursula K. LeGuin uses cloning to discuss identity and individuality, I'd totally recommend the movie Moon. It's kinda tweak but really cool.
Just a note: it's LeGuinn (I know you can't tell on the copy I gave you).
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